READ: Critical Race Theory (CRT) IS Coming to Your Child’s School.

The Definition of Racism

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Critical Race Theory (CRT) IS coming to your child’s school. By Dale Mortensen

In fact, if it isn’t already seated at a desk, it probably is checking in at the front office under an assumed name. How could that happen without you knowing? Well, rarely, does Critical Race Theory stand at the podium and announce to your school board, students, parents and teachers anything close to the following:

“Hi, my real name is Critical Race Theory. I’ve presented myself to many well intentioned communities using words you think you know, like equity or inclusion. So, if it puts you at ease, just call me “Equity” until we get to know each other better. I am here to institute an all inclusive “Anti-racist” educational program. I’m sure that you all have a common understanding of the term “racist” and if you have questions about this new term, I’ll explain what that actually means once we have the program in place. You’re good people and I know all of you want to be “Anti-racist”, so let’s begin. Now, I do understand that my name has the word “theory” in it, but don’t pay too much attention to that as we will be teaching CRT as truth. Besides, both words begin with a T so later we can just use them interchangeably and eventually make a permanent name change. I’m going to ask you to please not refer to me using the terms Marxist, Maoist or Stalinist; CRT is very different from those ideologies; we won’t be dividing your children, or the citizens of our country, by class; we will be using race instead. But, enough about words and names, let’s get to the program.

Our first order of business will be to install a very comprehensive “Equity Program.” We here at CRT like the word equity because it sounds so much like equality or the value in your home and that feels good. But equality under the law or equality of opportunity doesn’t really work for us here at CRT; those equalities have been worked on for 225 years through struggle, amendments to the Constitution, war, movements, Civil Right laws, rules, regulations, Trillions of dollars spent and yet, there are still individuals that succeed or fail more than others in every single school or business in America; obviously, if we don’t have equal outcomes after 225 years the whole system must be broken, or as we call it “Systemic Racism.” Just look at our schools where educators invest themselves so each student can succeed, and governments allocate vast amounts of money, yet not all students have the same G.P.A. or score the same on college entrance exams. Thus our Equity Program will address unequal outcomes by laying out many vague, virtuous sounding goals that claim to be focused on equal opportunity, but any success of our program will be interpreted by equal outcomes across what we term “Marginalized Groups.” CRT has many of those goals, but here are just a couple of CRT’s favorites from the dozens of word salad goals selection:

1. To ensure that the predictability of student outcomes do not correlate with any social or cultural factor.

2. To ensure that every student is embraced in their full identity, in a community of belonging that empowers them to flourish both academically and socio-emotionally.

As you read this, parents, board members and teachers may have a few questions that come to mind such as how will you “ensure” or enforce these goals? Isn’t Correlation a type of coincidence? Wouldn’t it be better to examine causation which requires empirical evidence? Are outcomes grades or something else? What are the social or cultural factors? In example 2, how will you “ensure,” or measure, whether a student is being “embraced in their full identity,” or is “flourishing?” Does “academically” mean grades, learning targets, standards?

I was actually hoping that you’d be lulled by the virtuousness and empathy emoting from our goals, but I’ll try to answer these questions. Truthfully, many of these concepts are impossible to measure and so nebulous that you will need to open up a Department of Equity and Inclusion to do the enforcement and interpreting for you. This new administrative arm will need to be fully staffed at the district, school and possible subject level. Under their watchful eye they will interpret whether all goals are being met in every school, classroom and for every student. Should any student not feel “embraced in their full identity” or “socio-emotionally” unhappy in a class, they can file an anonymous complaint online and one of our highly trained CRT specialists will spring into action. This new department will need to be continually expanded as demand for their service requires, and since our specialists’ job relies on demand, they will make certain that demand is perpetually expanding. The CRT specialists will be looking for “correlations” across identity groups. If it's causation you want, CRT will refer you back to “Systemic Racism” as the root cause of any unmet goals, again, as interpreted by our CRT specialists. This method will certainly free up time from the messy process of actually identifying how, why and where each student, as an individual, is struggling and putting in motion an individual plan designed to assist each student as an individual. With the “Equity Program” in place, let’s move on to your child’s learning.

Moving forward, the most important idea we will be teaching your child is that they will be identifying as part of a racial, ethnic, gender or sexual orientation group. We’ll teach your child that their group identity is the most important aspect of their life. But don’t worry, most of these groups that your children fall into are considered “Good” and only one will be considered “bad.” CRT’s good groups are called “Oppressed, Targeted or Marginalized.” The bad group we call “Oppressor or Privileged.” If you're wondering how your baby, kindergartner, 7th grader or high schooler can be an “oppressor or privileged” based upon mostly immutable qualities? It’s because your child, grandchildren, ancestors and progeny are born into the group that created all the “Systemic Racism.” CRT explains how even if you were born into, or are living in, very challenging circumstances, any successes are due to your “Privilege.” It has nothing to do with any individual choices made past or present. But, never fear, your “oppressor/Privileged” child can almost make their way out of the bad group by immediately admitting they’re bad and through total adherence to CRTs comprehensive program. We’ll even explain how when some in the “good” groups may have struggles in part of their lives it is because of those in that bad group and the “Systemic Racism” they created. If you are in one of the “oppressed” groups, like Asian Americans or African Immigrants, and are still thriving academically, don’t worry, we have already installed our full CRT program in higher education where we will deal with you “equitably.” Under CRT there’s no need to worry about ideas like work ethic, logic, individualism or meritocracy; those are all constructs of ‘Systemic Racism”. As you can see, CRT has answers for everything. From now on every facet of your child’s educational experience from history to economics, government, science, English, literature, foreign language, the arts, physical education and even math will be viewed through the CRT lens of race, gender and sexual orientation. I’m sure you can see how much time and effort we’ll be saving your children by simplifying their lives. 

You’re probably wondering how we interject race and social issues into classes that do not seem relevant, like math. We just talked about this but I am happy to go over it again. CRT teaches the most important idea is the race and identity of students. It works like this. Students bring their identities with them to every class, thus every class must reinforce CRTs main idea, thus this feels sensible. But, let me give you one example. In math we will provide teachers with a data set each day that deals with a social issue. That data set will always reinforce CRTs claim of “Systemic Racism” built by the “bad” group. No need to discuss correlation or causation, and we certainly won’t offer any other possible causes other than “Systemic Racism.” That would force your child to think critically but, as you can see, Critical Race Theory’s first name is Critical. Thus, our materials will do the thinking for them. Teachers that do too much thinking and provide contrary evidence to their class should be referred to our Office of Equity and Inclusion. Parents won’t need to think either because to avoid textbook adoption rules, like public viewing before adoption, we’ll simply call our material “supplemental.” Neither the school board nor parents will be the wiser. We’ll follow legal protocols once the T in our name changes from theory to truth. CRT understands that parents, board members and teachers have busy lives and we are just trying to make your life simpler.

Under this new program your child will no longer need to worry about, “dreaming of a day when people will be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” Now, you can simply look at someone, or ask them which group they belong to, and you’ll immediately be able to make your judgment. Our process will save your children all that time it takes to genuinely understand someone; they will no longer need to bother with the infinite complexities of the individual human experience. Why ask them to go to such lengths when they can simply use their eyes and ears?

Our program works so well with your child’s natural tendency of sameness. You’ve heard the old saying, “birds of a feather, flock together.” Having instructed students that the most important sameness is race, your child may begin to feel comforted if they associate more with those within their affinity group and its acceptable CRT perspectives. Once surrounded by similar views and people they can be uplifted daily through the process of circular affirmation; no more of that nonsense of struggling with multiple perspectives. Don’t worry; should your child hear an unauthorized perspective from inside their own group, CRT will explain how that person is not actually an “authentic” part of your group. We’ll simply label that person a hideous name and then your child can proceed back to the comfort of homogeneous thinking. If, by chance, someone from outside their group, especially any from the “bad” group, offers their perspective, not authorized by CRT, well, let’s just say that we have similar ways of dealing with them. As you can see, CRTs new Good vs. Bad classification system works wonderfully at silencing contrary ideas that may harm your child’s socio-emotional health. This helps build assurance of your child’s own virtue and righteousness. By now you should notice that CRT is all about the wellness of your child.

CRT knows that you want your child to be a good and virtuous person. If your family is still wasting time with that silly “I have a Dream” idea from a by-gone era, or working at your temple, synagogue, mosque, church or place of worship to teach the tenets of your family’s faith, have no fear, we will instruct your children on all they need to know. Simply stated, to be virtuous is to be “Anti-racist,” to be “Anti-racist” is to accept, without question, all aspects of Critical Race Theory as truth, to do otherwise is to be racist and unvirtuous. If needed, CRT’s supporters in the media, academia and on social media will be standing by to assist your child with a variety of ways to demean any who harmed your child with divergent thinking. By now, it should be apparent to you that CRT saves both you and your family a lot of time and energy.

I’m now sure we can all agree to fully institute the “Equity Program” today and begin our journey as a Critical Race Theory school district. For those that object to any part of it, CRT will be happy to begin the process of destroying you personally, professionally and economically. Any questions?”